A Year Without Travel

Today signifies a year since a life-altering event took place in my life, as well as the rest of the world. Today is the anniversary date of when I experienced my first lockdown!!! You see, with now a year or more of this pandemic under our belt, it would seem I am beginning to lose my sh*t. I know just a few months ago, I said that everything was fine and that I was optimistic, but that has changed. A year ago, I thought this was going to last a few weeks, tops. I certainly could never have thought we’d still be in this situation a year later. That honestly could have been a lifetime ago, and I find myself reflecting on it now. So, here’s my reflection on a year without travel, from a formerly nomadic person being driven mad with restlessness.

The Beginning

On March 23rd, 2020 the South African president announced that South Africa would go into lockdown. This was after the COVID-19 cases had exceeded 100, a number that back then seemed high. I remember exactly what I was doing. We were on the highway headed slowly across the country, to go on safari in Kruger Park. This trip was (and still is) a major bucket list dream of mine. I saved going on my first safari for 2020. This was after all, a year that I assumed would be an amazing start to a new decade. It’s almost comical to think this now in retrospect, but I really thought that.

When the president’s speech came on the radio, we pulled over in the dark to listen to his words. Although we had no idea what was to come of this, we could hear it in his voice. There was no mistake that things were getting very serious. He said that South Africa was going into a state of emergency. We would enter a 21 day lockdown, effective in 3 days.

That was the moment we knew our trip was over. We decided to pull into the nearest town for the night, and agreed to drive back to Cape Town the next day. We had no idea where to go next, but could hardly anticipate the challenges that lied ahead.

All Downhill From There

The events after, I’d have never believed could have all happened in a single lifetime, let alone the span of a few days. Airports and borders around the world shutting down completely. Flights were getting cancelled every minute. All flights from South Africa to the US were banned, due to the virus spreading uncontrollably in the States. And me, unable to fly due to catching a “mysterious” upper respiratory illness and having to quarantine.

Back then South Africa was just beginning to get cases of COVID, as one of the later countries to be affected. There weren’t enough tests to “waste on young people” as the doctor said. But to be responsible, we had to quarantine. This duty to isolate and prevent spreading what I had to others, would be my inevitable doom. I couldn’t leave because I was quarantining, but the number of flights were becoming fewer every hour. This was a very stressful time in my life.

So what happened was, I got stuck in South Africa alone, when the airport finally shut down for good. My partner was able to make his flight to Europe, while mine was canceled last minute.

What a rollercoaster. And this was the beginning.

Early Pandemic: Blissful Ignorance

The one good that will come from getting stranded abroad alone in one of the strictest lockdowns in the world, is that I now am humbled by knowing just how bad things can get. I eventually was able to get repatriated on an emergency flight back to the States after no less than 65 days alone (I counted). This journey cost me $3000 USD (ouch).

Even then, I saw the small silver linings in the situation. I got to go home after 2 years abroad. My family was healthy and safe. I eventually was able to reunite with my boyfriend.

And you know, I baked banana bread, did zoom parties, learned a trendy tik tok dance or two. The usual early pandemic stuff really.

But the real saving grace was starting this blog. I was able to channel a lot of my passion and restlessness into this website. I’d wanted to start a blog for so long, but always put it off because I was busy traveling the world and such. But with so much free time, it was finally time to do it.

If anyone doesn’t know, starting a blog is a lot of work, seriously. I am grateful for the free time I had to learn every basic task that seemed infinitely difficult for my newbie brain. This way, I could give my full effort into setting up my website, until I could actually do the travel part of having a travel blog.

How it’s Going Now

Until now, I was so determined and motivated, sometimes I hardly felt any sadness about not being able to travel. I can’t see the world, but I was doing the next best thing. And surely, how much longer can this last right?

Well, as it turns out pandemics can last a really long f*cking time. Forgive my naive brain, but I’d never experienced anything like this before. On the contrary, I’d even go as far as saying 90s babies had it too easy. No major world wars, no famine, black plague (yet), nothing. We were just overdue for something weren’t we?

Now a year without travel, I am losing sense of purpose and all motivation. I don’t know when life started to become a dark hole of anxiety. But I want to say maybe about a few months ago, is when the “use this time to become a better you” attitude was replaced with the “my life is meaningless and we are all destined for death” outlook.

I’m unsure what triggered the good old existential crisis. Maybe it’s the fact that we are entering our third wave in Europe, or the fact that we are in the 3rd month of this perpetual lockdown. Or just the fact that it’s now been a whole year without travel, and as a traveler, this is starting to hurt.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way, either. But, through this ordeal I have learned some key lessons I’ll carry with me throughout life.

3 Lessons From the Pandemic

1. Tomorrow is Never Promised

Before the pandemic, I’d saved a lot of things I wanted to do, on this idea of tomorrow. I think we’ve all learned now that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, and there is no time like the present. I’m lucky in the sense that I was living my life the way I wanted, before this pandemic hit. I can’t imagine the feeling of regret I’d have if I had spent my life in a cubicle, and hadn’t taken a vacation in months, just to be forced into lockdown for a year.

After the pandemic, I am making it a mission to live out my dreams as soon as possible. Starting this website was one of them, and I also have a long list of bucket list destinations and experiences that I can’t wait to tackle!

2. Appreciate Everything

The second lesson, is to have gratitude. Some say that it’s easier to be grateful when everything is going your way. I disagree. It was in those lonely days I spent alone in lockdown, stranded in Africa, that I truly learned what it means to have gratitude.

In those days spent eating nutella in the bathtub, and staring out my window, I learned how to be grateful for every tiny thing in life. It’s literally the only thing that kept me sane in that time.

I was living a dream life, pre-covid. Although I enjoyed it, I didn’t fully grasp how lucky I was. My life was amazing before this pandemic, and even during. My family is healthy, and so am I. Even things as simple as feeling a breeze through my window, or sun rays in the morning in isolation, are reason to celebrate. I know this now.

3. Anything Can Happen

Lastly, I learned that anything can happen. Before this pandemic, I hardly believed that entire airports could just shut down. I didn’t think there would come a day, that I wouldn’t be able to go home. I’d never fathomed a situation where dating someone from another country would mean we could not see each other, due to close borders. I am humbled now to know that I don’t know anything, really. And that anything can happen.

What Comes Next?

No matter what we’re going through emotionally right now, it does start to look as though things may get better later this year. Honestly, we’ve been smacked by so many unprecedented events, and sidelined by new problems, that I don’t even want to get my hopes up. But somehow, the rational part of my brain says that things really are improving.

Vaccines are rolling out in The States, and very slowly (and I emphasize the word SLOWLY) here in Europe. My parents are both vaccinated, something that brings me a huge sense of relief. Even a lot of my friends have gotten their first jab, and I am waiting patiently for my turn. Iceland became among the first countries to re-open to vaccinated tourists. A move that I hope other countries are soon to follow suit, when it’s safe for their population of course.

There is a real silver lining of some form of normalcy, wayyy out on the horizon. We survived a year without travel, and one day this will be a long gone story of the past. I am ready for that, because World: I miss you, and I can’t wait until the day I can see you again.